Ok so once upon a time after a bit of a wild night out and during an after party around ours, me, my housemate and friends thought it would be funny to phone FRANK for jokes.
Don’t get the wrong idea, we weren’t ‘on it’, just thought we’d see what FRANK had to say. (Bear in mind when you’re drunk, you find doing silly things funny)
Anyways we phoned up and a woman answered?
Ben: “hello? is that FRANK?”
FRANK: “Yes” hangs up call
Ben: “ummm she’s just hung up on us! looool”
FRANK you’re useless, we could have for all you known been ready to try out some hard class A’s and needed FRANK advice lol.
Talk to FRANK? Well we would have if you didn’t hang up on us! LOL
SHARE YOUR DRUNK STORIES
the things you do as a drunk young adult lol
i’ve walked into the Samaritans before and stood waiting at the little window after pressing the bell, a woman walked up a very politely asked “could i help you at all” to which i replied “yes! yes you can or at least i hope you can!, i’m feeling suicidal”…
“Oh dear” she replied “would you like to talk to someone” (me) “No!!! i just wondered if you had and pain killers and vodka i could borrow”
Woman: “very funny, now why don’t you stop wasting peoples time and go jump off a bridge you ****”
Me: “are you not supposed to stop me doing that”
woman: “shuts little window and walks off shaking her head”
hahahahahahahahaha Jon, that’s brilliant!!
Anyone else got any drunk stories to share? (Doesn’t have to include help lines / centres) 
a friend once phone the child help line when we were at school (about 14 years old) and told the woman on the phone he was being abused by his father, after a 5 min conversation i remember my friend saying “no i don’t want my dad arrested, i just want someone to teach him how to give me a reach around”
wrong so very wrong, but when you’re young it was funny as f***, until we got called into the head office lol
hahahahaha!!!
That’s so funny! These helpline centres must get pranks all the time, actually would love to work for one of them just for the lols.
I’m a bit of a master when it comes to the drunken story. I left england almost 4 years ago and have been travelling about the world living in different places since - as a result I’ve been sending periodic emails back home to people that I’ve entitled “Tom’s Travels”. I think we’re up to episode 28 now and most of them have a drunken story in them. Here’s an exerpt from one:
Next day I’m annoyed that I didn’t get drunk so I buy a ticket to a
D-Dub gig and Craig and I get on the Ferry to a place called Waieheke
Island. 4 beers on the ferry and I’m feeling great. We arrive and sit
in the pub garden, there’s a live Jazz band on and the vibe is
awesome.
Approx 10 beers (400ml glasses over here mind) later the warm up gig
comes on: Tahuna Breaks. They rock, D-Dub is next, they’re polished,
they get the crowd going but they aren’t as good as Tahuna Breaks.
15 beers in I decide to climb a hill but am thwarted by two people
having sex in a bush.
20 beers in we go to catch the ferry. But stupid Bouffont must have a
souvenir from the bar. I roll up a giant rug (approx 12ftx12ft) hike
it onto my shoulder and leg it out of the bar.
I dive over the fence zig zagging as I go, people are in tow and I
cant get caught. I decide to do a spin, using the rug as a death
weapon. I’m pretty sure I knock 3 people down, but there’s still more
chasing.
“Whats happened to Craig” I ask myself but decide he’s a casualty of war.
I’m into a field now, it’s dark, there’s lots of trees. I’m darting in
and out with the skill and agility of a half cat half gymnast… I
stumble but counter with a graceful roll and keep my pace. Nothing can
catch me as I make it to a car park, quickly nipping in between cars
and vans. I make it to the port and do a 180degree turn to see if I’ve
lost them. If there was anyone there I’d throw the rug at them and
dive into the water and swim to freedom… luckily I lost them all
over the space of about 1 mile. I was pretty sure there was about 10
chasing, seems I did alright eh?
Next day I’m cursing the extra beers we drank on the boat home but I’m
glad I have a new rug to take to the park/beach etc.
I head over to Craig’s to discuss the awesome getaway of 2007. I’m
harping on about how skilled I was and how awesomely in control I was
when he stops me half way through the story and calls me a twat.
“That’s not how it happened at all Tom. You grabbed the rug legged it,
no one chased you at all… you then fell over the fence, span around
and swung at no one screaming your head off then fell over, ran off
without the rug, then came back to get it doing Karate Kicks at
invisible foes. Then you ran into the branches of a tree… then you
fell over and DID NOT get up gracefully. You then took a wing mirror
off a car stumbling and by the time I’d caught up with you it looked
like you were about to start crying… oh and it was about 100metres
away from the bar”
I f*cking hate people that remember drunken idiocy.
[quote]bouffont (27/07/2010)[hr]I’m a bit of a master when it comes to the drunken story. I left england almost 4 years ago and have been travelling about the world living in different places since - as a result I’ve been sending periodic emails back home to people that I’ve entitled “Tom’s Travels”. I think we’re up to episode 28 now and most of them have a drunken story in them. Here’s an exerpt from one:
Next day I’m annoyed that I didn’t get drunk so I buy a ticket to a
D-Dub gig and Craig and I get on the Ferry to a place called Waieheke
Island. 4 beers on the ferry and I’m feeling great. We arrive and sit
in the pub garden, there’s a live Jazz band on and the vibe is
awesome.
Approx 10 beers (400ml glasses over here mind) later the warm up gig
comes on: Tahuna Breaks. They rock, D-Dub is next, they’re polished,
they get the crowd going but they aren’t as good as Tahuna Breaks.
15 beers in I decide to climb a hill but am thwarted by two people
having sex in a bush.
20 beers in we go to catch the ferry. But stupid Bouffont must have a
souvenir from the bar. I roll up a giant rug (approx 12ftx12ft) hike
it onto my shoulder and leg it out of the bar.
I dive over the fence zig zagging as I go, people are in tow and I
cant get caught. I decide to do a spin, using the rug as a death
weapon. I’m pretty sure I knock 3 people down, but there’s still more
chasing.
“Whats happened to Craig” I ask myself but decide he’s a casualty of war.
I’m into a field now, it’s dark, there’s lots of trees. I’m darting in
and out with the skill and agility of a half cat half gymnast… I
stumble but counter with a graceful roll and keep my pace. Nothing can
catch me as I make it to a car park, quickly nipping in between cars
and vans. I make it to the port and do a 180degree turn to see if I’ve
lost them. If there was anyone there I’d throw the rug at them and
dive into the water and swim to freedom… luckily I lost them all
over the space of about 1 mile. I was pretty sure there was about 10
chasing, seems I did alright eh?
Next day I’m cursing the extra beers we drank on the boat home but I’m
glad I have a new rug to take to the park/beach etc.
I head over to Craig’s to discuss the awesome getaway of 2007. I’m
harping on about how skilled I was and how awesomely in control I was
when he stops me half way through the story and calls me a twat.
“That’s not how it happened at all Tom. You grabbed the rug legged it,
no one chased you at all… you then fell over the fence, span around
and swung at no one screaming your head off then fell over, ran off
without the rug, then came back to get it doing Karate Kicks at
invisible foes. Then you ran into the branches of a tree… then you
fell over and DID NOT get up gracefully. You then took a wing mirror
off a car stumbling and by the time I’d caught up with you it looked
like you were about to start crying… oh and it was about 100metres
away from the bar”
I f*cking hate people that remember drunken idiocy.[/quote]
hahahaha f in great
hahaha excellent story !! Love it.