Here’s my first song that I ever made. Any feedback and criticism would be great! Thanks!
http://soundcloud.com/hazzarous/prelude
The melody aint bad mate.
But as you say this is your first production so
you need to practise still a lot.
The kick is too …soft? Anyway I dont like the kick 
It also has no build up as a track it starts kind of emediatly bangin,
you need a intro, and more drums!
Add Snares, Chips, Hi hats , Claps , anything, so that the track
sound more “full” ( dont know really how to say this one , oh well… )
All this is only my advice and opinion!
Its your music-your style !
From time to time you will get better , Im sure about it !
My first production was not even half as good as this one believe me hahah
hey dude 90 pecent of my stuff sounds a bit like this albeit in a more interesting way, you kinda have to realise that the parts move in different ways and get a good harmony between them, in this piece the bass moves up and the melody moves up all the way, so if you have say a c major chord going to g major your need to not have c e g to g b d or whatever its is you need e g c going to b d g or something, look into that its very help ful and nobody was helpful enough to inform me about this, very secretive dance head are :PPPPPPPPPPPP yet not so complicated at all 
Don’t pan the kick at the beginning, just don’t. Other than that, good 1st production, unsignable most likeley, but shows potential. Keep working at it, I’ve been at this for more than 4 years and the more I learn; the less i know. Brace yourself for the frustration, but that also comes with satisfaction.